Fears and worries are common in childhood and adolescence, and at different ages, different worries may start to emerge. Here are some common fears and worries at different ages and stages:

During toddlerhood, you may start to notice your little one scanning a room to find you or becoming tearful when you walk away. Separation anxiety can become present at this age, which developmentally is appropriate. Other common fears at this age can be loud noises or strangers.

As your child grows into school-age years, you will see the “typical fears” of toddlerhood fade away, and other worries may emerge. Common worries can be bad weather (like thunderstorms or tornados), the dark, monsters under the bed, fear of getting hurt, or being home alone.

In the teenage years, you will see common worries start to shift to social concerns, such as being liked or fitting in. Common thoughts related to those worries can look like, “Will they like me?” or “What if I embarrass myself or look stupid?”. Teens may also start to worry about death or dying, and ask more existential questions. They also may start to worry about their future and academic performance.

The worries listed above are all age-appropriate worries. However, if you find that your child is not growing out of these stages of worry, or that the worries are impacting them on a daily basis, it may be a sign of something more significant like an anxiety disorder.

As a caregiver, you may be wondering: When exactly do these common worries turn into warning signs? Could these fears be more than just typical worry? Could it be an anxiety disorder?

Caregivers can ask themselves these questions to help find some answers:

• Is the worry impacting my child’s daily functioning?
• Is my child able to attend and participate at school or camp?
• Is my child able to complete their daily living activities, such as brushing their teeth, showering, and dressing themselves?
• Is the worry impacting my child’s sleep or appetite?
• Is my child frequently avoiding certain activities, places or things due to overwhelming fear?

If you answered yes to some of these questions, you may want to contact a professional for an evaluation to identify whether an anxiety disorder could be present.

Another sign of anxiety, can be if you notice that your behavior, as a caregiver, starts to change to help alleviate your child’s anxiety.

When a child is experiencing worry, it is common for caregivers to step in to try and help them feel better. It is a natural parental instinct to protect your child when they appear to be in distress. However, for kids with anxiety disorders, caregivers can get stuck in a cycle of needing to do more and more for their child to alleviate their anxiety.

Here’s what that might look like:

• Speaking for your child when you’re out together in public because they are feeling too anxious to interact or speak with others
• Driving your child to school late so that they can avoid walking in with their peers
• Going into your child’s room at night first to turn on all the lights for them so they are not afraid to walk in

If you find that you are changing your own behavior to help your child feel better, you can ask yourself: “If my child was not feeling anxious, would I still be doing this behavior?” or “Is this something that I would do for my other (less anxious) children?” If you answered no to either of these questions, you may be accommodating your child’s anxiety. Accommodation may offer short-term relief, but it can actually make anxiety bigger for your child in the long term. It may also be a sign that your child is having a hard time coping with the feelings of anxiety independently and may need professional support to learn new skills and better manage their feelings.

If you still have questions or concerns about your child, call to schedule a phone screening today with us at InStride Health, to help get some of your questions answered. At InStride, we help young people between the ages of 7 and 22 find new ways to approach their feelings and learn strategies for managing these common conditions. We involve the entire family in treatment and support parents every step of the way. Our targeted, short-term, effective care can get you and your child back to living their fullest lives.