When a child struggles with anxiety and/or OCD, the whole family can feel the impact. As a parent or caregiver, knowing how to offer the best support can be challenging. At InStride Health, we use a “surround sound” approach, meaning that our care team, caregivers, schools, pediatricians, other important adults, and the child all work together to reinforce the same skills. 

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and exposure and response prevention (ERP) are evidence-based interventions for anxiety and OCD that help people identify the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and learn and practice the tools to break unhelpful cycles. In this model, you as a caregiver are an active participant, not just an observer. By collaborating with the therapist or care team, integrating treatment into daily life, and fostering independence, you can create a supportive environment that empowers your child to manage anxiety and OCD effectively.  

Here are ways you can support your child’s treatment journey through CBT:

• Be an active member of the team. Attend scheduled family sessions and communicate openly with your child’s care team. You are the expert on your child, so offer honest and open feedback about the behaviors and symptoms you observe at home. Collaboration shows your child that you are aligned with their goals and that you are in this together.
• Learn the language and use it at home. CBT speaks its own language, including terms like “exposures,” and “fear and avoidance hierarchies.” As your child becomes familiar with this new language, incorporating these terms into your home life can strengthen their learning. Using this shared language helps reinforce the tools they are learning in sessions and integrate them into daily routines.
• Celebrate effort, not just results. Progress in CBT is often gradual and the road to recovery can be bumpy. Praise your child for showing up, trying new things and taking small steps out of their comfort zone. We call this “watering the roses, not the dandelions,” or focusing your attention and praise on brave behaviors and effort rather than anxious avoidant behavior. Recognizing their hard work helps them stay motivated, even when things feel tough.
• Fill your own cup. Supporting a child with anxiety or OCD can be emotionally draining. Take time for your own self-care and, if needed, seek your own support. We know “self-care” can sometimes feel like a loaded term, but it doesn’t need to be big or elaborate. Even five minutes of slow breathing or listening to music can help. A calm and grounded parent creates a safe space for a child to navigate big emotions. 
• Model healthy coping. Children often learn as much from what we do as what we say. One way to do this is to narrate your own process when you feel stressed. For example, you might say, “I’m feeling a bit anxious about this deadline. I’m going to take a pause, take a breath, and take one small step to get started.” When they see you managing your stress proactively or with positive self-talk, they are more likely to try the same or similar skills themselves. 
• Let them fly. It is natural to want to protect your child from fear or pain, but stepping in to reduce their anxiety or distress in the moment, what we call “family accommodation,” can unintentionally keep anxiety and OCD going. As your child strengthens their skills, give them space to practice independence. This might mean letting them order their own food at a restaurant or sleeping in their own bed, even if it feels scary at first. Gradually stepping back – and being transparent with them about what you are doing and why you are doing it – shows them that you have confidence in their ability to handle challenges.

The Takeaway

Helping your child manage anxiety and OCD isn’t about being an expert or having all the answers. It’s about encouraging them as they learn to face fears, tolerate uncertainty, and build their confidence. You will make mistakes along the way (remember, you are human too!), and that’s ok. Patience, consistency, and compassion – for your child and for yourself -matter more than getting it right every time.